Dr. Sleep's Fatigue and Hope
My creations have always used different methods to shape the world we live in. This time I chose to borrow Dr. Sleep’s position to tell stories related to this social environment through the theme of sleep disorders. I will The work is set as a bedside story that happened on the canvas. The ideas for these stories evolved through many sleep rituals (personal habits developed over a long period of time before going to bed to help fall asleep).
"I never listen to you, so now I have to listen to the sound of many people talking to sleep."
This is my own sleep ritual and the beginning of this series.
"I never listen to you, so now I have to listen to the sound of many people talking to sleep."
This is my own sleep ritual and the beginning of this series.
I am an action maniac. I am different from a workaholic because of my lack of efficiency. I often feel satisfied and give up sleep because of the constant repetition and repetition of painting actions. But you are different. You often tell me that you are a big dreamer with nothing to do in the middle of the night. There are so many things I want to do but don’t know where to start.This is the limit of what I can talk to you, and then I will reply to you without thinking, "Then do it." Because of this, I have always taken it for granted that your insomnia is because you have not expended any physical energy at all, so you can't sleep. At that time, I didn’t know that severe sleep disorders would make it impossible to adjust and reorganize one’s emotions, behavior, and cognitive memory. I also didn’t know that there were so many voices and signals in your head that couldn’t be turned off. What’s even scarier? The speed at which sleep disorders accumulate is like racing with a tortoise. You think you will always surpass him, but in fact, there is no moment when you meet. You are anxious that you can't find the end point and can't return to the starting point, so you can only use drugs to continue. The forced end of every day.
It took several years after that for me to realize that "insomnia" should be a descriptive symptom rather than a diagnosis. It is not a disease. It just tells a story about the outside world, just like the many things in the picture that cannot be turned off. Sensory signals: the sound of water dripping in the bathroom, the sound of stones hitting each other caused by turning on the gas stove, the rumble of the air conditioner, the aroma of bread, and the sounds that may be made by all movements, etc... These are the inorganic sounds that constitute daily life, Information and images can make you feel the events happening around you delicately, and you can also feel every movement of others. However, you are anxious that you cannot remember their faces, and then you will realize that you are also completely unaware of them. be seen, at night, I will endlessly count how many people I will pass by tomorrow. These sensory signals that I don’t stop to watch or listen to will become fragments that I can’t recall anything in the next second. But maybe there's an opportunity in these episodes where you can twist it around and change it. Therefore, I made up the character of Dr. Sleep to hide myself in. I can't diagnose it for you, but I can find a suitable sleep ritual for you to turn off all this.
I think we all need a Dr. Sleep shell. Hide inside to listen, watch and tell you that there may be people with the same difficulties around you. Using bedside stories is like a hypnotic state, with the sweetest gesture. Occupying a part of his heart, Doctor Sleep and Sleep Ritual must exist in everyone's heart at the same time to be established. In other words, they are already in each of our hearts, but we often lose the courage to try to communicate. Over time, it becomes a huge fatigue, and this fatigue happens to be an experience shared by everyone in society. Civilized society has this authoritarian power to fill our hearts with this twisted sense of security.Our society is constructed with such weak connections. From the smallest individual psychological state, it extends in a concentric circle to the relationship between people, and then to the position of the society and the country, all in an almost infinitely magnified manner. The image reappears in everyone's heart. Maybe there is no outlet. Maybe you will feel that it is getting harder and harder to tell the story of this world to have a happy ending.
But I believe everything will be different if you try to face them.
睡眠博士的疲憊與希望
一直以來的創作都以不同的方式去塑造出我們所生存的世界,這次選擇借用 Dr. Sleep 睡眠博士的立場透過睡眠障礙的主題說出跟這個社會環境有關的故事, 我將這次的作品畫面設定為一段段發生在畫布上的床邊故事,這些故事的發想則是透過許多的睡眠儀式(長時間養成在睡前幫助入眠的個人習慣)演變而來。
「我從來都不聽你講話,所以現在我得靠聽許多人講話的聲音才睡的著。」
這是我自己的睡眠儀式也是我做這個系列的開端。
我是個動作狂,跟工作狂不一樣因為欠缺效率,我常常因為不斷重複與重來的繪畫動作感到滿足並放棄睡眠,而你不一樣,你常常半夜無所事事地跟我說你是大夢想家,有好多想做的事情但不知從何開始。這是我能與你對話的極限,然後我就會不經過大腦地回你“那就去做啊”,也因為如此,你的失眠症我一直理所當然地覺得是你根本沒有消耗體力所以睡不著,那時後的我不知道嚴重的睡眠障礙會讓人無法調整和重組人的情緒行為跟認知記憶, 也不知道原來你腦袋裡有這麼多關不掉的聲音跟訊號,更可怕的是睡眠障礙累積的速度就像是與烏龜賽跑,你以為會永遠超越他了,但其實你們根本沒有錯身交會的一瞬間,你焦慮於找不到終點也回不了起點,只能用藥物進行每一天的強制結束。
在那之後的好幾年我才認知到“失眠症”應該要是敘述性的症狀而不是診斷,它不是病,它只是說了一個關於外在的故事,就好像畫面中那許多關不掉的感官訊號:浴室裡水滴的聲音、扭開瓦斯爐造成的石頭相擊的聲音、空調運轉的轟隆聲、麵包的香氣、以及所有動作可能發出的聲響等等…這些構成日常生活的無機質聲音、資訊和影像,都能令細膩的你感覺到身旁發生的事件,也能感覺到旁人的每一個動作,但你卻焦慮於記不得他們的臉,然後就會意識到自己也是那樣全然地不被看見,到了夜晚便會無止盡地細數明天自己又會從多少人身邊經過呢,這些不停下來注視或聆聽的感官訊號,就會變成在下一秒就再也什麼都回想不起來的片斷,但也許在這些片斷裡會有這麼一個你可以扭轉它並且改變它的機會。 睡眠博士的角色因此被我虛構出來將自己躲藏進去,我沒辦法替你診斷但可以替你找到適合的睡眠儀式來關掉這一切。
我想我們都需要一個睡眠博士的外殼,躲在裡面去聽聽看去告訴你身邊也許也有同樣困難的人,用床邊故事的方式就像是一種類似催眠的狀態,以最甜蜜的姿態佔據他心裡面的一部份位置,睡眠博士與睡眠儀式它們必須同時存在於每個人的心裡面才得以成立,或是說它們早已在我們每個人的心中,只是我們常常失去嘗試溝通的勇氣,久而久之便成了一種巨大的疲憊,而這個疲憊也正好是社會上所有人共同擁有的經驗,而文明社會就是具有這種專制的力量,將這種扭曲的安全感填入我們的內心。 我們的社會就是以這樣微弱的連結建構出來的,從最小的個人心裡狀態,以同心圓的方式延伸到人與人之間的關係,再到社會國家的立場,都幾乎以一種無限放大的形象再現在每個人的心中,也許沒有出口,也許你會覺得怎麼這個世界的故事越來越難講到幸福快樂的結局。
但我相信試著去面對他們一切都會不一樣的。